Genesis 2:18-24 & Ephesians 5:1-2, 22-33
Zach. You take second place in this marriage. Now that is not me providing you some helpful advice as your future father-in-law (although it wouldn’t be bad advice.) No, that is really the place God puts you in. Leah, don’t think that means this wedding is all about you. I’ll get to your place in a minute.
Zach, by now you know, having met Leah’s family, that we are weird. I would argue that our weirdness is not solely from being Timms or being Lutheran, but from being Biblical. For instance in the wedding liturgy today, Zach, you will always go first. You will be the first to be asked your intentions in this marriage. You will make your marriage vow first. You will pledge your faithfulness by placing Leah’s ring on her finger first. That might leave you with the impression that you get to go first in marriage. Well, in some ways you do get to go first, but not as the boss. You get to go first in sacrifice. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
In this way, Leah is more important than you are. Woman is the completion of man, the culmination of creation, the last of God’s creation. We learned that in the Old Testament reading today. In all of God’s creating, every day He saw that it was good, until that sixth day, when Adam stood solo. “It is not good that the man should be alone.” So God put Adam to sleep, removed a chunk of Adam from his side and fashioned a helper fit for Adam. There would be no man without woman, no more humans without a woman to complete the man. Is it any wonder that Adam’s wow and marriage vow to Eve, declares her to be his very own flesh, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.”
You probably remember how the rest of the story goes. Adam forgot he was second. He neglected to put Eve first, to protect her, defend her, and provide her with God’s own Word. He forgot that she was God’s “very good” for him. When Satan came tempting, Adam stood silently beside Eve and left her defenseless before Satan’s attack. Adam and Eve ate the fruit and then Adam took first place. When God came to question Adam about the fruit, he thought he was more important than Eve so he pushed her out to God. The woman, you gave me, she did it. If they were going to die for sin, Adam put Eve out there to die first. He was more important. Because we men are born of our father Adam it is still the most common temptation of men to take first place in marriage. Consider the cost of our toys, the time and money we willingly spend apart from wife and children, even with our work, the lack of men leading their wives and children to church. Mothers, by and large, assume that role.
Leah, you are first place in this marriage. Once again I’m not saying that as your father, although if Zach knows what’s good for him – it isn’t bad advice. But first place doesn’t mean life revolves around you, that you’re the boss of this marriage. Once again, your first-place-ness is weirdly reflected by your place in the wedding liturgy. You always go second. Everything you do is in response to Zach first making his vows. Oddly, you’re first, but for you, Zach is most important. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Even though you are first, you are to receive everything from Zach. Even as Eve received her bones and flesh from Adam, even as she was to receive God’s Word from him, even as she should have said to Satan, “You’ll have to talk to my husband – He’s in charge. He has God’s Word on what we are to eat and not eat.”
You’re probably wondering how to make sense of all this – Zach you’re second, but you lead. Leah you’re first but you follow. What sort of weird marriage counsel is this? Saint Paul tells us why it is baffling – it is a mystery that is only revealed in Jesus Christ and His love for His bride the Church. Holy Marriage, the creation of man and woman, the union of a husband and wife, from the very beginning was intimately bound together with Jesus and His death for us sinners on the cross. That’s why all the churches that have messed with Holy Marriage and God’s gift of sexuality have also lost Jesus and His cross from their preaching, teaching and confession.
Jesus Christ is Lord. He was born of a Virgin, performed hundreds of miracles, changed the course of human history, and most importantly died for the sin of the world and rose from the dead three days later just as He said He would. Every Christian confesses Jesus is Lord over all. And yet, He does not take first place by lording it over us and demanding our obedience. He humbles Himself by taking on the form of a servant. He lays down His life for His bride, because she is of first importance to Him. You are of first importance to Him. He loves His bride and yet she isn’t much of a bride – just look in the mirror of God’s Law and ask yourself, “Do I deserve the love of God Who offers His own flesh and blood as payment for my sins? Was God making a wise decision when He gave up His only begotten Son for a disobedient rebel like me?” That is the mystery of the Gospel. That Jesus who is Lord of all takes that place by serving all – by serving you.
Jesus Christ died for sinners. Leah – I know you sin, although you are more pious than some of your family (I won’t mention any names). Zach – I know you sin (all I’m going to say is “pontoon.”) So what does that mean? It means Jesus Christ died for you, loved you to death. Even though He is Lord He served, loved, and gave Himself for you. That’s the Gospel, the mysterious Good News that puts you in your place. You are God’s children, part of the bride of Christ. He did for you what Adam did not do for Eve. He faced your enemies, protected you from death and hell, and laid down His life so you could be forgiven and live. When His side was opened up at the cross, water and blood poured out – and from that water and blood His bride is created and built up – the water of baptism, the blood of His Supper. He took the least place, your place, the place of a sinner before God, so that you could be first – a favored son and daughter of His Father.
As a Christian husband and wife you have each been given a place in marriage. Zach you’re in second place and yet you lead. Leah is more important. Leah, you’re in first place and yet you follow. Zach is most important. This makes no sense. How can second place lead and first place follow? How can you both be the most important in the marriage? It’s a mystery. It is revealed in Christ Jesus and His love for His bride the Church. He loves her to death and She waits on His every Word. Their lives are lived for one another and that is weird. So our prayer for you is that you have a weird and holy marriage where you live in your place and treat each other as most important, in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Pr. Bruce A. Timm
October 5, 2018 anno Domini