Wedding Sermon for
Christopher Bahr and Kimberly Fetz
26 July 2014 – Redeemer
O Lord open my lips. And my mouth shall declare your praise. (Ps. 51:15) Thus began our prayers for you Kimberly and Chris. Thus begins your married life. Could a better prayer be uttered by a bride and groom, by a husband and wife?
“O Lord before I speak put your Word in my ears. Let your Word dwell in my heart and have its way with my thoughts and feelings and actions. Let your Word guide my tongue as I speak.” If you could keep that simple prayer before you your marriage will be a blessed union.
The liturgy saves us from ourselves. If we didn’t have the liturgy of Vespers or Holy Matrimony we would probably have begun today “as a celebration of the love of Kimberly and Chris.” But that is not enough for you to go on in marriage. Human love is fickle and selfish. If all you have is your own love your marriage is destined to fail God’s will and God’s way. Self-love is the reason we have divorce and broken homes and children without a mom and a dad, and weddings between two men. Self-love really shouldn’t even be called love – it is lust. It is the idolatry of self. It’s adultery with yourself – and it is the worst enemy you will face in your married life. As sons of Adam and daughters of Eve we do not fall far from the proverbial family tree – we are born sinful, curved in on ourselves with spiritual scoliosis. Even as baptized Christians that old sinner clings to us until death.
That’s why the liturgy of Vespers and the service of Holy Matrimony are such a blessings to us from the church. The prayer service of Vespers begins by calling on the Lord. The service of Holy Marriage begins with God’s name – “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Those liturgies teach us that we are not here ultimately to celebrate the love of Kimberly and Chris– to be sure that’s part of what we do today, but primarily we are gathered in the Lord’s house so that His Word, Work, and Name have His way with us. Kimberly and Chris have invited you here to witness their marriage and to ask your prayers upon their married life, and to support them in their desire to live under God’s will and God’s Word as husband and wife.
And right there I let it slip – that word from Holy Scripture that causes all of us to bristle and squirm. Under God’s Will – Saint Paul calls it submission and love. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. True love, Biblical love, God’s love means putting yourself under another person – a wife willing to let her husband lead the family as Christ leads the church. A husband willing to lay down his life, his wants, his very body for his wife as Christ has done for us. In the Bible love is not so much beautiful as it is dangerous.
What you are pledging and promising today is dangerous and demanding. That’s why it should not surprise us that greater than 70% of all couples live together before marriage. They realize the danger that marriage is to the idolatry of self so they don’t commit to loving the other above self. It also shouldn’t surprise us that 50% of all marriages performed this year will end in divorce. Chris you will soon promise to love Kimberly even when shes isn’t lovely, even when she’s sick, even when you’re sick, even when your company downsizes and money is short, you promise not to be short with her, but to sacrifice everything that is yours for her. You take the lead in that because is what God has given you. You are to follow the example of the heavenly bridegroom Jesus Christ.
Kimberly – men are hard to love. They tend to love themselves. Just look in our garages, at our gadgets, examine our schedules and you’ll see a whole lot of self- lovin going on. A husband will come home from work and complain how tired he is while his wife has struggled with two toddlers all day and hasn’t even had time to brush her teeth. You will soon promise to submit to Chris, to trust his love, rely on his strength, to stand beside him as your husband and to love him when he’s loving himself, to care for him when he is sick or sorrowing, when he’s spent 2 hours on his phone trying to figure out some new app. You follow because that is what God has given you to do – that is how a Christian bride is the icon of the Church, Christ’s bride.
Both of you are aware that what I just have preached to you is sheer folly and utter foolishness. What sort of ridiculous wedding advice is this? A man giving up his toys and pleasures and a woman giving up her autonomy. That would never appear on the cover of Men’s Health or Cosmopolitan. Of course it wouldn’t – because the world markets lust, not love, and they preach self-love not God’s love.
O Lord open my lips. And my mouth will declare YOUR praise. What is the Lord’s praise? The Lord’s praise is Jesus Christ. If you want to praise the Lord you confess the church’s creeds. You praise God by declaring all that He has done for you in Jesus Christ.
In a moment (or two or 15) the service of Holy Matrimony will begin with these familiar words, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The first time those words were spoken over you you were likely dressed in little white gowns and wearing diapers. Your parents brought you to the water of baptism because they knew you needed help. As much as they loved you and thought you to be perfect, God’s Spirit convinced them to bring you to God’s house. You needed more than help – you needed forgiveness. You needed the life giving flood of baptism to drown your sinful self in Christ and raise you to new life in Him. You needed love because without God’s love you would not be lovely in God’s eyes and acceptable to Him and you would never overcome your self-love.
Kimberly in the beauty of her gown is a picture to us of the love Christ has shown us. He has covered us with His life, His obedience, and His death. In baptism our filthy rags are washed in the blood of the Lamb and made white.
Jesus is the foundation of Christian marriage. He is the Holy in Holy Matrimony. You two stand before God and before each other today loved to death by Jesus, loved to life by Jesus, loved to forgiveness, holiness and righteousness. Christ has put Himself under you – offering His body at the cross for your sins, loving you to death, granting you more forgiveness than all your sin. You know this. You believe this, and you should always consider this before you ever open your mouth to speak to the other.
Kimberly, know this – you are the most forgiven sinner in your marriage. You know your own sins well, much better than you know Chris’. Your sins are forgiven. Christ has covered them all. So much is His love for you that He took them all away with His death. Forgiven so many sins you certainly can forgive Chris his few sins and live under him.
Chris, know this – you are the most forgiven sinner in your marriage. You know your own sins well, much better than you know Kimberly’s. Your sins are forgiven. Christ has covered them all. So much is His love for you that He took all your sins away with His death. Forgiven so many sins you certainly can forgive Kimberly her few sins and love her to death.
In your marriage may the Lord so open your lips that in love and forgiveness toward each other you declare His praise. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
Pr. Bruce Timm