Redeemer Evangelical Lutheran Church

Marriage, Jesus, and Your Faith

Ephesians 5:31-32

January 15, 2023 anno Domini

I could easily preach for two hours on marriage according to God’s Word – that’s how rich marriage is. Be glad I write out my sermons so that I can keep it to an hour.

Everything I say this morning about marriage the world hates and despises. Everything the world says about marriage you must hate if you are a Christian.

Marriage is God’s institution for you to give to another person what God has given to you. That’s how it was in the very beginning. God created humans because God’s nature is goodness and God desired a recipient for His love, His mercy, His gifts. When Adam stood alone in the garden it was not good because Adam had been created in God’s image, but he had no one to love, to protect, to give to. So, God made Eve for Adam and when He saw the two of them together it was very good.

Whether you are married or not you know that marriage, even (perhaps especially) among Christians is not all goodness, love, and giving. Where are your worst thoughts thought and your harshest words spoken? Would you ever speak to a co-worker or a church member or a stranger what you have said to your spouse or thought of her? Have not your greatest fears, worries, and sorrows come within your family – the family into which you were born, or the family you made when you got married?

I’m not making a very good argument for marriage, am I? Is it any wonder witnessing these difficulties that 90% of couples who marry today live together beforehand to take a partner for a “test drive.” What the world and your friends will never tell you is that living together leads to a higher divorce rate than not living together before marriage.

So why did God give us marriage in this sinful world?  There are two answers – Jesus and faith.

Marriage is, I believe, the greatest physical confession of Jesus’ saving work. Marriage from the very beginning pointed to Jesus, as Saint Paul tells us in Ephesians. Adam was a picture of Christ. He was to provide and protect his bride, Eve. He was to preach God’s Word to her and defend her from sin and evil. He failed and stood by silently when Eve was tempted. Eve was supposed to receive Adam’s care and God’s Word from him. She is an icon of the church – the bride of Christ. She was to live under his orders. Adam received his orders from God – don’t eat from that tree and take care of your wife. Adam passed those orders onto Eve, but Eve didn’t follow the orders. She sinned. Adam didn’t follow his orders – he didn’t protect her. Where there is no order there is chaos and if you don’t believe me think back to your last argument and how many commandments you broke and how much chaos you caused.

Where Adam failed Christ succeeded. Christ loved His bride to His death. Adam was silent in the face of temptation. Christ spoke God’s Word to the Devil and did not sin. Adam spoke ill of Eve after sin. Christ spoke His bride righteous – covering her spots and blemishes with His blood. Adam let evil into his wife’s ear, while Christ sacrificed all that He had so His bride would be saved from evil. In the flesh of Jesus Christ God and man are wed together. In His saving work we are covered with His righteousness that we might be welcome to cross the threshold of heaven where we will see God face to face.

In today’s Old Testament reading God is finishing up His marriage vows to Israel. Moses makes it clear that God has favored Israel and chosen her by name to be His own, but Moses wants the Lord’s commitment that He will go with them. If the Lord is not with them there’s no point. Apart from the Lord’s husbandry Israel is dead. And during this weddnig, Israel the bride, is wearing a veil. For until the Christ comes, she cannot see God face to face and live, but once He comes she will be forgiven and she will be able to see God face to face in the person of His Son.

In today’s Gospel reading a marriage takes place right before your eyes, but I doubt you’ve seen it. Mary and Jesus come to the wedding festival separately. And there is a change in their relationship. That change is evident when Jesus rebukes Mary about the wine, “Woman, what does this have to do with me?”  No one calls their mother “woman” and lives to tell about it, but this is how Jesus addresses women He has come to save. He’s telling Mary she’s not in the roll of His mother over Him anymore. Now she doesn’t give orders. He does and she must accept His word and she does, which is why she says to the servants, ”Do whatever He tells you.” Mary and Jesus come to Cana separately, but they leave together, for Mary is married to Christ by faith.

Only by faith in Jesus Christ will you live. Only by His sacrificial love are your sins covered and you are beautiful to your Father in heaven. Jesus doesn’t do this because you are the best-looking bride on the block. He does this because like His Father His glory is goodness and mercy. His love is born out in action. He dies for you and thus gives you life.

The second reason God gave us marriage is to exercise of our faith. You get married so that you can love as you have been loved. Marriage requires love, giving, and sacrificing. Marriage is where life is created and more importantly life is sustained. The greatest problem children face today is not education or poverty. Their greatest problem is their parents aren’t married or their parents are still living like selfish children.  

God’s gift of marriage exercises us in living like Christ, getting off ourselves and living for another. Each person in marriage lives for the other under the orders God gave. Husbands live for their wives by protecting, providing, and preaching, as did Christ. Women live under the orders of her husband, by bearing children and nurturing them, just as the Church listens to Christ’s Word, gives birth to us in baptism, and sets the table of the Lord’s Supper. Children live by obeying their parents and serving them. God’s also gives us children to break our parent’s stuff to cure us of idolatry. Even their sin serves God’s purposes. If I’ve ticked you off with those words, repent. You’ve swallowed the world’s lies about men and women therefore you have a hard time stomaching God’s Word.

One last Word on marriage, at least for this hour. The number one sin against marriage isn’t the Sixth commandment, adultery – even though that one does a lot of damage. It is the 8^th commandment that will kill or keep your marriage. The Eighth commandment, “Do not bear false witness,” orders what comes out of your mouth. Marriage is the greatest conversation possible between a man and a woman. Husbands, if you want a great marriage, speak well of your bride, cover her faults, don’t attribute evil motives to her actions, forgive her sins, and confess your own. Bring her to church where you can both be wed to Christ. Wives, if you want a great marriage, speak well of your husband, cover his faults, don’t attribute evil motives to his actions, forgive his sins, and confess your own. Go to church with him every Lord’s day.

There are great reasons to get married. God gave marriage to us. It’s the only place He ordered sex to happen. Marriage confesses the love of Christ for His bride the Church and finally in marriage you have ample opportunity to exercise your faith by sacrificing yourself, by confessing your sins, and by forgiving your spouse. That’s marriage, at least for this week, in the name of Jesus. Amen.